Leave all Worries Behind You
by SweetProserpina
Summary: This one-shot examines Severus' and others' views of the Potions Master and why he looks at life and death the way he does. Rated R because it is set during his death.


Disclaimer: I am not JKR nor do I own Harry Potter and his world.

Author's etc: Trying something a bit different from my norm, go easy on me. Just a one-shot.

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_Stars shining bright above you _

_Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you" _

_Birds singin' in the sycamore tree _

_Dream a little dream of me_

...Oh Gods, the pain was unbearable. It burned every inch of his body, he could feel the flames licking their way down the tender surfaces of his thighs, his shins; his boot leather curled in the heat.

Justice.

That is what they had snickered at him as the spell as cast. They laughed when the first flame ignited his oily hair. They left only after his screams had turned into whimpers and smell began to offend their sensibilities. He was left lying alone outside, lying on scorched grass, somewhere, he couldn't remember where. The eerie blue flame that encompassed him was the only light that lit the empty clearing.

Empty.

...Severus Snape had always held life in a fatalistic view, unusual for a Slytherin. To live or die were possibilities that existed in his every day life since he was a boy, to start caring about it during middle age hardly seemed apropos.

.....Severus, if pressed by Dumbledore, would acknowledge that he led a dangerous lifestyle only in hopes of some redemption from his own haunted past.

.....Acquaintances have said that his fatalistic mentality came more from the way he lived his everyday life. He had no one, and cared for nothing. He hated what he had become, and wallowed in it. Surviving only by the thrill he got from passing along a little of that hatred everyday to those who crossed his path. He was a sour misanthrope.

.....Lucius Malfoy believed that it came from a grotesque kind of envy. Though, best mates at school, Lucius had got the serpent's share of the good looks, the popularity... the galleons. He had a doting wife, a son, who was a perfect copy of himself, a hefty fortune, and, most importantly, upward mobility. Lucius moved in circles that Severus could only dream of. Instead, Severus was stuck in a backwater, teaching snotty nosed children how to make spot-remover potions. Death could only be an improvement in Severus' life.

.....Draco Malfoy, in one of his more quiet moments, observed once that his godfather's views were merely those of others that were forced upon him. Severus' role had been defined by others so thoroughly that he had little say in what happened to him. He grew into the role that others dictated, unwittingly and willingly, he drifted along until he knew none of himself any longer. Draco saw himself in the man, and it scared him.

.....Narcissa Malfoy blamed herself for what had become of the man called Severus Snape. She had chosen the wrong one. Oh, and they all knew it. Severus had needed her more than Lucius ever would. Severus would have let her laugh, he would have made love to her in the tall grass in the back meadow, he would have let her have a baby girl and eat ice cream at two in the morning. She had been such a stupid foolish girl picking Lucius. And he had suffered for it. She had taken away everything that could have been his because of it, taking away his ability to love. Her penance was living with this every day on her soul. She feared what may happen to him.

In his darkest hour, he lay in the clearing alone, smoldering slowly from a spell cast by a gang of young and intoxicated Death Eaters. They had thought it might be a laugh to show their old Potions teacher how much they hated essays and detentions by setting him alight.

Oh, it was silly, that Severus would cease to be because of a school boy prank, but strangely fitting for a man who never succeeded to impress others enough to be remembered for anything other than his cruelty in handing out three foot essays and lashing out with sharp words.

And that's what hurt the most. That's why he knew that it wouldn't have mattered whether he lived or died and that's why he didn't care. No one would grieve for him, no one would visit his grave with flowers and a kind word once a year, no one would tell stories of brave or clever or wonderful old Severus Snape. His leaving the world would affect it very little.

Staring up at the stars as he weakened, he thought perhaps he should have done things differently, perhaps he shouldn't have become a pawn for two powerful masters, perhaps he should have fought harder for what he knew should have been his, perhaps he should have tried to find joy in the smallest things. Perhaps, perhaps next time it will be better.

_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you _

_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you _

_But in your dreams whatever they be _

_Dream a little dream of me_

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_thanks for reading, swweetp_


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